This week I’m talking with Rachel Scanlon, a stand-up comedian, actress, writer and co-host to the podcast Two Dykes and a Mic. Seen on Don't Tell Comedy, JFL’s Straight Up Stand Up, and Comedy Central, Rachel is a high energy comic that buzz’s with positivity.
In our conversation, hear bout Rachel’s journey with ADHD and her decisions on how to manage it. We also explore the intertwining worlds of ADHD and queer identity. From the challenges of school to the joys of podcasting, our conversation ranges and highlights the power of embracing your own unique experiences.
Mentioned in this Episode:
William Curb: So, what's your ADHD story? When did you like get diagnosed? How'd that go for you?
Rachel Scanlon: I got diagnosed when I was in middle school. So I thought pretty young at the time. I was like 12. And I had a terrible time in school, which is strange because my grades were good, but I was always in trouble. So I would get kicked out of class all the time. I was a huge talker and very social, couldn't sit still, like very hyperactive as a kid. But when I was growing up, ADHD was thought of more for boys than for girls.
William Curb: Still kind of is.
Rachel Scanlon: Is it still?
William Curb: Yeah, they're working on it. And I was like looking at stats recently, I'm like, oh, that is still not where that should be.
Rachel Scanlon: Isn't it so stupid how things are super slow? Yeah. ADHD is talked about so much on TikTok. And I feel like TikTok has helped so many people connect with other people and other communities.
But I do feel like at large, when you get outside the real world, is like so much farther behind than like what it feels like socially it should be. But I got diagnosed real young and they put me on medication really quickly. So I started taking the Adderall at 12. I took it for 10 years straight, slowly going up and up and up in dosages until I was in my mid 20s. I didn't feel like I was making a choice to be somebody who's on medication.
I was like a problem kid who kind of needed to be fixed. And a way to do that is to keep taking these pills. When I finally like got out of college, moved to Los Angeles, started doing stand up, I realized, do I need to be taking any type of medication if I'm somebody who like is a comedian?
You know what I mean? I'm not sitting in a classroom all day long. If I've built my life in a way where I can use the way that my brain works for a career, like do I actually need to be on any type of medication? And so I just like stopped. I took almost a full year and a half to get down to no medication. And that took a really long time. Then I realized that for me, the medication was something that like made certain qualities that I had. It was so weird. I like didn't realize that most people would take naps and eat three meals a day.
I had no idea. I was like, oh, because when you go from childhood to being an adult on a specific substance, I had to kind of relearn how to eat and how to kind of rework things that I think the meds that I was on, I took for like habits that were not quite natural to me. So I was also like chain smoking and alcoholic. So a lot of things needed to change for me.
William Curb: Yeah. You just substitute one thing with a, it's like, oh, now I'm just going to use nicotine to be my drug of choice.
Rachel Scanlon: Of course. It was a very interesting time. You're learning a lot as well when you're in your like 23, 24. It's like a crazy time in your life. So I got off and I have not been on any ADHD meds since. It felt like such a huge deal when I was a kid because I was always in trouble.
And now that I'm like older, it is feel more common, like less stigmatized than when I was younger. It's fun. Are you on meds?
William Curb: Yeah. Currently, I am.
Rachel Scanlon: How long have you been on meds?
William Curb: 12 years, but like the last six or seven doing it consistently cause like I first got on and I was like, oh, I'm just going to do this, the ADHD way and take these when I need them. And that does not work at all. Cause when I first got diagnosed, I did not do anything other than take meds to manage the ADHD, which does not work.
Rachel Scanlon: Oh yeah. I think that is like super, super common where people assume if I change nothing, take the pill, then that's it. I think that's kind of like what they sell it as too, as like the magic pill.
William Curb: Yeah, like I took it and I'm like, man, I am great at commenting on Reddit now. Once I like started learning more about managing my ADHD, I'm like, oh, I need to take this consistently and this works way better. And then I can manage my dose. And then I'm like, oh, I have a super high heart rate.
I need to lower my dose. I was like, why didn't I have a watch to keep telling me that I like, have a high heart rate. And I'm like, oh, probably that stimulant I'm taking.
Rachel Scanlon: Yeah. But I was thinking so much towards the end where I would set an alarm, take my pill, go back to sleep and then it would wake me up. It's so interesting. I think people like don't understand to be on a stimulant when you have ADHD. There's a lot of things working with somebody who has this way of thinking on medication as an adult. Yeah, I barely really understood it in my adulthood. Do you have days where you don't take it? Just when I forget. That's the way to do it.
William Curb: Yeah, because for a long time you're like, I don't notice being on it as much anymore. It's not a thing where I'm like, I know people have described like taking meds as like putting on glasses and like, that's not my experience at all. My experience is like, oh, I just feel like I'm normal. And then days I don't take it, I'm like, oh, I'm really slow at processing some things and get caught trying to think of words. And it's a little bit just like, oh, I have trouble finishing things.
Rachel Scanlon: For sure. I decided I didn't want to be on medication anymore. And that is when I figured out that I needed to actually go into figuring out how my brain works. For me, I was able to like get by on a long time with just taking the medication, being in school, chain smoking, getting through it. And when I got off medication, that's kind of when I learned like exactly how my ADHD affects the way that I process information and the way that I need to like get things done.
So I started figuring out exactly that like, and honestly, probably way too far in the wrong direction at first. Let's say somebody sends me an email. If I open that email and I don't respond to it in that moment, my brain makes it as if the email never even happened. Like it doesn't, it's not that I'm forgetting it and it's not that I am choosing to like put it off.
Like that idea that people with ADHD are like putting things off to the last minute or being lazy. I'm telling you like doesn't exist in my mind whatsoever. And it's like that with anything. So I turned it into now I'm like, I like bulk do everything all at once immediately. The second my day starts, I'm like a gorgeous, gay little like Navy SEAL. I like set my alarm for 7 a.m.
I'm like, we're doing it. I run a 10 K. I have to write every single thing down. My calendar is enormous.
And every day is just like completely structured to like get it all done. Because if I don't, it doesn't exist. I'm like my brain is like, brain does that beautiful thing where I'm like, if it's not in front of me right now, if I can't see it, it is deleted from all existence.
William Curb: Yeah, just out of sight, not even close to the mind. Gone.
Rachel Scanlon: So I think that like those things, I feel really lucky, but I feel bad for my girlfriend because she knows, she'll be speaking to me and she has to just come right in direct eye line and then start from the beginning because there are just things that like, when you're kind of a high energy person with ADHD, and I'm like, there's so much happening within. There's a lot going on. And I'm like, I need eye contact and like a gentle touch. I'm like, just touch my face, lock it in, and then tell me what to do and I'll go do it as hard as I have done anything in my life.
William Curb: Yeah, I'll have times when I'm like driving with my wife and she'll be talking and then I'll be like, oh no, she's been talking. How long has she been talking? Oh man. Can I catch it? We've been together long enough that I'm like, I'm sorry, can you start over? I did not catch any of that.
Rachel Scanlon: That's so nice too. I feel like the thing that I appreciate the most about the close relationships that I have is that they understand that when I'm asking you to start over from the top, it's because I genuinely want to know everything that you're saying. I don't want it to be, oh, I missed it. I'm an asshole. We'll move on. I want it to be like, there's not an ounce of you that I don't care about. So walk me back to the beginning and I know it's annoying to say it again, but I'm so engaged when I'm engaged. I was so grateful when there are those moments where you're like, so you understand that I give a shit a lot.
William Curb: One of the reasons I think like the neurodivergent community goes together so well is they can give that like empathy of like, oh yeah, I get it. Whereas some people that are just like, no, you should just be listening. I wish I could.
Rachel Scanlon: Listening is one of the, I would say hardest things in the world and sexiest things in the world, especially in the queer community. If you're a good listener, holy moly baby.
That's currency. I'm still figuring out ways to trick myself into learning how to be a better listener because I get lost very easily when I can't see it. Sometimes I feel like when I'm listening to somebody speaking words, I have a hard time picturing what they're doing. Unless I'm really picturing it and then I can get in there, but I don't know, are you a good reader? Can you read books?
William Curb: I'm dyslexic as well. Did not read till the fourth grade, but now I agree quite a bit, although I'm also just recently got really into audio books too. And I'm like, this is way easier sometimes.
Rachel Scanlon: I'm a terrible reader. I had learning disabilities with reading. My eyes don't work together. And then he mixed out with ADHD. What am I going to do? So I've always idolized reading. It's my number one fantasy to somebody catch me reading a book.
Very naturally, that is something that like I fantasize about all the time because to me it's like, that's the pinnacle of somebody who has their shit together and is interesting and is smart. It's just like I have such a hard time doing it. I can't. I'm a very, very bad reader and very slow. I don't know what's going on, but maybe I should try the audio book thing. Do you follow along when you're listening with the book?
William Curb: Sometimes the audible and Amazon have like a whisper sync. So can you like pair it with like a e-book and they'll like highlight the word you're on as you're going? Although I tend to speed up my audio books and then that doesn't quite sync up quite as well. And that's very distracting because that's the great thing about audio books. I'm like, oh, I could just pop the speed up. And like then it's like really hitting all the dopamine receptors. It's like sprint reading.
Yeah. So I do that more with nonfiction stuff, but I'm just listening to fiction. I'll like go for a walk and listen to something. And it's like, oh, I'm getting all sorts of benefits. I'm getting some fiction. I'm getting outside.
Rachel Scanlon: It's so weird. That's why I feel like sometimes when we have so many people sharing their ADHD stories on the internet, on TikTok, we get this really beautiful thing where a lot of people who maybe have felt like I never understood why I couldn't get this right or whatever have this beautiful moment of that's me. They see something on their phone and they go, boom, that makes me feel at home. And that is something that is a very beautiful thing about the internet is getting to have those moments where you say, holy shit, like I'm not a crazy piece of shit.
And like that is beautiful. But also I feel like the internet has made it feel like so many things are so many things that it can be overwhelming, especially if you have ADHD on TikTok. I'm like, that's one of those things where for me, I have to like put very specific rules around TikTok. I can't watch TikTok if the sun is down or I'll watch it until the sun is up, which is something that is that's a never ending hole for me.
William Curb: You just watched so many lesbians split in wood on.
Rachel Scanlon: And they sure are split in wood, aren't they? Yeah. Lesbians are so good at TikTok. And they know what they're doing.
William Curb: My pet theory is that the stress from the pandemic just put people over the edge where they were able to mask their ADHD and now they just can't anymore. Yeah. They saw behind the curtain. I don't know what to do anymore.
Rachel Scanlon: Honestly, I think the pandemic changed so much for so many people where we're like cats out of the bank. We are all here like trying to figure the shit out for sure.
William Curb: And so much of that's like you like watch a video. Like, oh, my God, I guess I'm not special. I guess that's so true.
Rachel Scanlon: Damn, I guess I'm not special.
William Curb: Yeah, there was a video I saw that was just like the ADHD walk where like people are like, there's like swerving back and forth going from like, I'm not so much shit over in my house doing that. Yeah.
Rachel Scanlon: The very specific things that you're like, I thought that was just me being a human being and everyone's like, this is an ADHD thing. And you're like, I thought we all chewed on the right side of our mouth for 10 times. And then the left side of our mouth for 10 times and then swallowed.
William Curb: Or had preferences on our silverware and.
Rachel Scanlon: Yeah, holy shit. We're all so connected. It's very bizarre.
William Curb: For me, it's really funny, too, because I like it to see my kids doing these things now, too. And I'm like, OK, that's clear signs of something.
Rachel Scanlon: Yeah. Do you have the thing where if you can't complete a project in one sitting, you can basically not do it?
William Curb: Often. My trick for it now is to give myself such a clear starting point for when I'm coming back, you know, like I'll be writing something and be like, OK, I'm just going to like have a sentence. I can see what the end of that sentence should be. Then when I stop back on, I'm like, oh, yeah, just write that. Oh, I know what comes after this now.
Rachel Scanlon: That's smart. You know what I do is I'm a big timer head. I have alarms for every. every single thing, because once again, if I don't hit it, they're gone forever. It's not like I will like in the middle of the day, be like, oh my God, I didn't brush my teeth. If I didn't brush my teeth the first thing in the morning, it will never happen. So I have alarms for my phone is like disgusting.
The amount of alarms that need to be done every single day. And it's like to a T that for me unlocked the amount of pressure you feel when you have ADHD and you know that like things can get away from you. Feeling like you have to remember everything for your entire day is unbelievably overwhelming to be like, I have to remember everything for my waking hours.
I don't know about you, but if I get lost on a new hobby or if I get really entranced in like, let's say I find a new show that has 12 episodes that I've never seen, I won't eat until that's over. And then I'll realize like, this is when I was like, I need alarms that go off. Otherwise I can't be an independent person. I'm like, the slave to my alarms is so real for me.
William Curb: Like I have to have lunch on my calendar because it's just so easy for me to be like, if I go, I'll eat when I'm hungry, then I'm going to get to a point where I'm like, I don't know, I want to make food. I just want to shove whatever I can find in the kitchen in my mouth as quickly as possible.
Rachel Scanlon: Yeah, I feel like that's such a major one. And like figuring out for me, like, I have to really think the night before is kind of when I, I have to sit there and kind of manifest. So I work out at some, I'm like a big, you won't believe this, a hobby took over my life. And I went from, during the lockdown, I started running. So every day I would run a 5K and I got sober.
So I went from drinking way too much to never drinking again, kind of classic. And because I work out so much and because I do stand up a lot, I have to wear like three to four different outfits in a day. I have my workout clothes, then I have my relaxing at home clothes, then I have when I go to work, when I podcast, an outfit for that, change back to regular clothes and then a show outfit. So I'm looking at four outfits a day.
If you go into my room, it looks like a gay, like psychopaths little like closet. There's just like four different outfits laid out for each different two hour segments of the day. And for me, it's like, I have to see what the clothes are gonna be to know what I need to do in the day. It's a very like visual cue for me to know, okay, I'm wearing these clothes, cause otherwise I'll shower and then I'll just be like, what the fuck am I doing now? Why am I naked?
Was I doing something? And God forbid something else gets in my way. And then it's just, I feel like my life feels a lot like, I can tell there is like a path that a normal day is supposed to go. And it takes a lot of effort for me to actually get down that path that gets me back into bed with food and everything that needs to be done. And for me, it feels like I figured out a way that I know what's gonna kind of set me off my path and sending out little like checkmarks along the way to make it kind of like bite sized parts that I can achieve. But once I figured that out, I realized that like, I can turn almost anything into like a goal or a game, whether it be like physical activities, stand up, career, relationships, but not in a creepy way. And like, for relationships with family, like I can be somebody who has figured out, like I do feel like I've mastered the way that my brain works. And I do feel like I'm almost unstoppable. Once I've decided that I want to do something, there is no way that I will not complete it now that I have like figured out goal setting and knocking things out, which I feel like is kind of the power of people with ADHD is like once we figure out the way that we are kind of wired differently, now you kind of have a superpower, which is awesome. Yeah.
William Curb: And when we're not trying to do things the way neurotypicals do them, it's like, oh, this works. This works.
Rachel Scanlon: Yes. For me, once I realized I didn't have to figure out for the rest of my life how to be quiet for school hours. Once I was like, I can be as energetic as I want and I can do what I want to be done in a day. Then it's like, look out, because now you have like a very powerful person. Or we hear a lot about how the negative effects of having ADHD, how like things are so hard, you're so scatterbrained, like, oh my God, how do you get anything done?
You have to be medicated and then you're zonked out. But like if you actually know people with ADHD, you might find the most driven like people that are like super engaging individuals, super compassionate individuals. Like we're a community that is incredibly powerful and spicy. And that is like a very cool thing to have.
William Curb: Yeah. One of the funniest things I've found is like, we often get labeled as lazy so much, but I have never seen a less lazy group of people.
Rachel Scanlon: Legitimately. I'm like, we're out there like buying rollerblades.
William Curb: You know, when I'm old, what am I gonna do when I retire? That's not gonna happen. Right. I couldn't do that. No. I will find things to do.
Rachel Scanlon: Honestly, like we're the ones making all the stuff all the time. We're not sitting back. Yeah. I don't know. I think it's that thing of like trying to be like everyone else so much that you're like, this is never gonna work. That once you accept that you have to do things, the way that makes sense to you is kind of when you unlock the rest of the world. For me, I'm like school just was never gonna be something that was painless for me. And then once you're able to kind of like craft your own life, then you're able to be like, oh my God, like I can really be a special person who's good at stuff when you're told for so long that you're a problem. It's like major.
William Curb: When we're doing things we want to do, they're not going to go with easy, but there's not a wall in the way. Right.
Rachel Scanlon: And there's, I can see like neurotypical people who don't have ADHD not having that. I'm like, thank God I have these qualities that come from the way that my brain works. This has made me a very efficient person. And I'm like, oh, thank God I have that. Like that got me through so many times where you can lean back on the way your brain works for the positive. It's like, it's good.
William Curb: And it is funny too, because sometimes I like get in this mindset of like, oh, I'm gonna be like, oh, what the heck is going on? This is just how everyone is and then I'll like actually encounter a neurotypical person. I have a good friend That's neurotypical. I'll be like go and like do work at his house sometimes. I'm just like you just did that Sat down and wow
Rachel Scanlon: Isn't that wild I'm always kind of mystified about yeah the people that can read books number one obviously It's a different world. I feel like the same way with my queerness I like forget the existence of heterosexuals where I assume I'm like well everyone Doesn't matter if you're in like a straight passing relate. I'm like we're all gay, right? Yeah, and then you'll see Somebody who's actually straight and I'm like oh my god. I thought we eradicated that Can't believe there are still some heterosexuals out there in the world some heterosexual Neurotypicals out walking amongst us if you can even believe that
William Curb: yeah because I'm pan by whatever But I'm in what is ostensibly a straight relationship But then you know, it's also like these things I like meet people like oh You're really not attracted to everybody There was a cut
Rachel Scanlon: off It's literally jarring to be like I'm like are you kid? Is this a bit? You can say like without a doubt Straight I'm like what the fuck you've honestly never questioned.
William Curb: That's weird It is you know, it's the weirdest when people don't question it and that to me is like we'll give it time my friend You got to ask yourself Questions especially since the pandemic especially when we're living in a time where things are more fluid and more open It's like you got to get into the old head and heart and really figure it out
William Curb: Yeah, and so on this topic you also have your podcast to Dyches and a mic which sounds fantastic name
Rachel Scanlon: Thank you so much to Dyches and a mic is like my pride and joy It's such an amazing outlet where something yet again a hobby I took way too far and now it is like my whole life and I love it so much but me and my co-host her name is Mackenzie Goodwin and we review, you know gay culture. We have on queer guests. We play games we do like, “who tops who” and it's one of those things where I think a lot of times in the queer community a lot of our content can be heavy - specifically in the lesbian community a lot of the stuff that you watch is like it'll be like a like a married Housewife falls in love with her like English teacher and then one of them dies or real like kind of soppy coming out stuff And I just like my whole life I've always wanted to be a comedian and then when I started falling in love with women I was like there needs to be two best friends like a lot of times when you have two queer women They're in love with each other or one of them wants to fuck the other one and my co-host and I being actual queer best friends having a like unbelievably silly podcast is Something that has brought me so much joy and it's like it's the most fun thing in the world to do the podcast Rocks and we tour it live Which is kind of like my two worlds merging into one to be a stand-up comedian for the last ten years and that have this like Queer kind of like silly little podcast touring has been Incredible it's been awesome and to see how many queer people are Everywhere now like what I started doing stand-up like people would never they would tell me to my face like you'll never Get to really sell tickets doing like this much queer material Because there's not enough of us and to see that that is unbelievably wrong has been just the best
William Curb: Yeah, I mean it's awesome that you get to do that kind of thing and it's I can imagine the ADHD just adds to your like drive to do it.
Rachel Scanlon: Yeah, it definitely it energizes me I mean, I think like the the beautiful thing when you find something that you like and you have ADHD It's a part of you. It's like in your bones And I feel like I've gotten to reach that level with something that was like a silly little podcast And now it's like I get to see people who really like it and really connect with it all over the country And outside of the country. It's like the fuck. This is awesome.
William Curb: Oh my god, whenever I get see like things from like podcast listeners from like international I'm just like wow I mean, of course, but also wow, isn't that crazy?
Rachel Scanlon: You're like we're in Fiji, baby. Like we're out there
William Curb: Yeah, I got like it was like you're charting in Belarus and I'm like Okay, I'm going to need to look up where that is.
Rachel Scanlon: That's so cool. It's the yeah It's a really cool time to be Somebody who creates stuff more individually without being on those huge levels of like you're on a TV show or whatever To really create something, you know, like Mackenzie and I were in a guest bedroom Then we've just been doing it for years. It's her and I we don't have a producer We don't have a fancy studio. We just sit there and we make each other laugh and like thank goodness We have these mediums now.
William Curb: I'm in the closet right now. So it's great Here's my sheets Hides the giant pile of stuff behind me and it's just It is one of those things like podcasting is amazing because you can just do that like so get just have this place that I can Go and do this and this is even kind of fancy to have.
Rachel Scanlon: Oh, yeah I do feel like something about being able to go out buy the equipment Record it yourself edit yourself publish yourself from the entire chain line to do it all is like very Satisfying if you have ADHD you can take that whole thing and be like we're gonna pump this out. Yeah today is like great
William Curb: Yeah, very early in the pandemic when I was still like trying to keep to my content schedules big okay, I finish editing in the next half hour. I can put it up before it's supposed to go live Now I'm just like yeah, it'll get up when it gets up. Yeah, I'm like I have ADHD It's okay to be to have ADHD.
Rachel Scanlon: We'll do this Yes, the podcast about it.
William Curb: I like people like hey, this episode doesn't have show notes. What happened? I'm like, I never put them up. That's what happens.
Rachel Scanlon: What do you think happened?
William Curb: All right Well, there anything you want to leave the listeners with before we sign off here
Rachel Scanlon: if you're listening to this Podcast right now. Just know that I'm Rachel Scanlon. You can follow me at Rachel safety listen to two dags and a mic and This has been awesome. Thanks much for having me on.
William Curb: Great having you. Thanks for coming
This Episode’s Top Tips
People with ADHD are often labeled with stereotypes like being "scatterbrained" or "lazy." It's essential to challenge these misconceptions and highlight the strengths, such as drive, engagement, and compassion, that many individuals with ADHD possess.
Recognizing and understanding one's neurodivergence can be liberating. Instead of attempting to fit into a neurotypical mold, individuals with ADHD should embrace and celebrate their unique traits and abilities.
There can be intersections in the experiences of being queer and being neurodivergence. It's beneficial for people to question and engage in some introspection, even if it leads to the reaffirmation of your own initial understanding.
With ADHD it’s important to find creative outlets that let you truly be yourself. By tapping into your own self-expression you can lean into your strengths and find fulfillment with what you do.